Forgetting Things

Last time I posted I wrote about Abe forgetting to write down his homework. It turns out that the aide had prompted him but had forgotten to check that Abe had actually followed through.   On Sunday, Abe couldn't find his homework folder that had all his homework dittos in it.  He miraculously remained calm, having learned the lesson of the magic letter from mom.  The aide wrote to me that he had put Abe's homework folder in his science binder to keep it clean when Abe's yogurt container exploded at school.  He wrote that Abe "Saw him put it in" and must have forgotten to get it later.  I am getting the feeling that my next task will be to teach Abe's aide about executive functioning.   Executive functioning is the ability to be organized, plan, follow multi-step directions, focus on what is important etc..  As you can probably already guess, lots of kids with ADHD and ASD have trouble with this.  So when the aide prompts Abe to write down his homework, he really doesn't understand that at any moment, Abe can become distracted and forget to do it.  Similarly, just because Abe was there when his folder got placed into a binder doesn't mean that he processed what happened, or that he would remember to take it out later because he needs his homework folder to do his homework.  The challenge is that I do want Abe to be independent and be able to do these things for himself but the reality is that Abe can't handle the consequences of forgetting his stuff.  It makes him too agitated and upset,  Most kids get a lot of practice with this in younger grades when the stakes are not as high and teachers are more forgiving. Also, they can handle the occasional lapse.   Because Abe has always had an aide with him he never really had to be independent.   What I need to figure out is how to teach Abe to think things through without causing so much stress that he isn't able to handle being in a mainstream environment.

The homework meltdown

    In the High School the teachers make a big deal about doing homework.  The science teacher makes a point that if the homework isn't done on time you get a zero.  No Makeups!  Abe usually does his homework so it isn't an issue. Except today, he forgot to write it down.   The aide is supposed to prompt him to write the homework if he hasn't done so by himself.  There is a target sheet that comes home every day and today it says that the aide prompted Abe to write the homework and that it was written.   Today's page in his agenda was blank so I don't know what happened.  As a backup, the teachers are supposed to post the homework on a computer program that we can access.  I looked it up and yesterday's homework was listed on today's date.  Today's homework wasn't there.  Time for a major meltdown!  Abe got so agitated he was banging his head on the floor.  He was never a head banger as a child but lately he has been hurting himself in order to punish himself for doing something wrong ( such as forgetting his homework).  I tried to tell him that we would let the teacher know what happened and he wouldn't get a zero but Abe didn't believe me.  To Abe what the teacher says is the law.  I tried to get him to remember his classmates' names so we could try to get the phone number but he only knew one kid's full name and of course, that kid wasn't in the book.  I also suggested that he could answer all the questions on the topic they learned today (there were 5) but to Abe, doing extra homework was not acceptable either.  This is the type of situation where you have to make the best of a bad situation and this is exactly what Abe has trouble with.  I think that HS is making him stressed out.         Eventually, after much screaming, crying and agitation, Abe calmed down.  He agreed that I could write a note and he tried to do the rest of his homework.  Tomorrow I will be on the phone with the school psychologist to make sure that the science teacher doesn't penalize him.  Abe has a behavior plan that says you should only use positives and not punishment but of course, I don't know if the teacher will actually follow through.  One thing though, we have to help Abe understand that the world is flexible and that we can help make it better for him.  He is trying so hard to follow the rules set out for the general ed. students but he doesn't understand that accomodations can be made when necessary.

He's rigid because he's autistic- What's your excuse?

Abe had a problem in resource room because the teacher had promised him that he could play on the computer for five minutes at the end of the period if he did all his work nicely.  Everything went well until Abe's watch said it was five minutes until the end of the period.  The classroom clock was slow so the teacher wouldn't let him use the computer until the room clock showed the time they had agreed on.  Abe has a thing about time accuracy and his watch is synced to some satellite somewhere so he knew his time was correct.  He had a meltdown because he didn't think it was fair and ended up missing all of Social Studies because he was calming down in the psychologist's office. 
      O.K.  It would be great if Abe could cope with the fact that sometimes the person in authority is wrong but you just have to accept it and make the best of it.  However, he is not there at this point of time.  The real question is why the teacher made such a big deal out of it?  After all, he had done his work nicely the entire period.  Did a couple of minutes make a difference to her?  The point of the reinforcer is to be able to give them the reinforcer instead of getting involved in a power struggle over the time.  If she had been flexible, instead of freaking out he could have been reinforced for working well and would have happily gone off to class. Was it worth trying to control him?
     I ended up speaking to the teacher about it and she isn't a bad person.  I just think that she had no idea what she was getting into.  That's pretty scary considering that she is a special education teacher.  I did get the sense that she was willing to listen and learn, which is a good thing.  I think she felt that she needed to be the one in control but by trying to get Abe to back down she learned that Abe isn't going to back down.  Once he is in a rage state I think he is incapable of thinking clearly or backing down.  He's a different person than the sweet agreeable young man he usually is.  Let's hope that the teacher is a one trial learner.

The Honors Track

Well, we managed to convince Abe to change classes.  He only didn't want to do it because he hates change so we sweetened the deal with a video game (compliments of grandma!).  So far the transition has been good.  The social studies class is pretty similar but the English class is at a whole other level.  There is a lot more work and the teacher is actually requiring them to write regularly in their "Writer's Notebook".  Some nights the vast majority of Abe's HW is from English.  I think it is good for him to be challenged rather than skate by.  Also, having English first rather than 9th period is good for him.  Now he has art 9th period which is perfect for him.  The thing that is really great is that when Abe is challenged I get to see how competent he can be academically.  The class is reading Gilgamesh and Abe is handling the work and the analysis without any difficulty.  The hardest part is that Abe has trouble focusing after school.  I tried to get him to do his homework right when he got home but he needs to unwind and chill out and refuses to do it.  Later on he is willing to do it but finds he loses focus and can't do all of it.  We end up waking him up early which can be stressful because eventually he has to stop working and get ready for school.  I know that I can request modified homework if need be but I would rather try to solve this without having to reduce his work. Abe can do his homework in resource room but he forgot it there once and since then has been reluctant to do it there.  Abe only has resource room to give him some space in his schedule and we are trying to work out with the teacher what he should do there.  Abe would like to be able to play on computer and personally if he needs that it isn't the end of the world.  The teacher want to do something "constructive" and I hope it doesn't end up making resource room a stressful place.